I will change the title soon. Good thing i haven’t had it printed. Hehe.

rock princess featuring Keira Knightley

i thought of it so much it turned into something physical. yep, i published myself (will, actually coz it’s not for printing yet. but it will be. promise.)

So what is It?

My Book! Contents, layout, all mine! yey!

it’s no bestseller type of book, really. and i don’t intend to circulate it. (i don’t think anyone would care to read it anyhow. i won’t, if it isn’t mine. hehe.) but i’m proud of it. for someone as lazy as i am, for someone as ningas-kugon-when-it-comes-to-creative-projects as i am, it is an Accomplishment.

i slaved on it for a week (a couple of times forced myself to pick up my laptop to start on it and more than a couple of times slapped myself to focus on the project and not divert my attention to other stuff like starting a new project) and finally it’s ready:

> 36 pages, back-to-back, full color, half-size of an A4 bondpaper - I plan to print it on bookpaper then either hardbind or softbind it.

And what’s in it?

My poems. Poems i’ve written over the years. My better poems, more like. coz i’ve written about a hundred (whenever i’m feeling some emotion) but most are well, bad and some i’ve lost. Anyway, the book contains 40 poems. of different length and themes/emotions/meanings. some most poems have several meanings though.

The book also contains pictures which i made myself (through photoshop). the pictures are actually close to the author’s meaning of the poem but not exactly.

The title

I titled it “Muse’s Whispers”, as i titled this blog. that was an obvious answer if this was a name-it game.

Why that title?

Although i want so much to give a serious, more imperative reason like: “i titled it Muse’s Whispers because the poems are dictated/inspired by my muse” or “each word in every line are whispers of my muse” or something as corny as that – well, i can’t. why?

1. i’m weird.

2. above reasons are the real reasons but i just find it too corny

3. wala lang.

besides, whenever i read or say it, it always reminds me of good-ol’ sanit(ar)y napkin. yeah!

(hey! hey! hey! this book is serious though)

Anyway, whatever reason i have for the title or why i made a book or why those colors in each poem, it does not matter. point is, i made a book. my own book and aahlaaaaavvveeett!!

P.S. i will have Reagan print it. I already asked how much it’ll cost me. just a matter of time and i’ll allot a budget for it. teehee!

PEACE.

Another P.S.: Belated Happy 2nd Birthday to Baby Avi!!! Pretty girl like her mom. Also another pretty girl’s birthday is today, Jennybear!!! Miss you so much. Mwah!

More P.S.: HE’s gone. i think.. sad.

roam my head

and my hands filled with candies and gums

soft euphony lashing cupidity

for gold and silver

turns lotus and lilac

chamomile-scented euphoria

with a spoonful of ambrosia

in a field of giant sunflowers

and star-filled rainbows

jiggling jelly dwarfs.

Present:
1. I didn’t become a doctor.
2. I didn’t become a designer/engineer/architect/scientist.
3. I am an AB Journalism graduate. But professionally, I still did not pursue being a journalist.

Excuses:
1. I can’t ask my parents to finance such expensive education. Although, I’m still fascinated with the Medical field and doctors. *wink*
2. Same as no. 1
3. I entered a different job, considering “The Money Factor”.

Realizations:
1. I regret not taking up a medical course and becoming a doctor.
2. Likewise, but not as much.
3. I did still pursue it although in a more-convenient-less-exciting/fulfilling way.

More realizations:
1. I still write. My words are still published and the letters of my name can still be seen where by-lines are supposed to be typed. I’m still being “published”. Of course, not nationwide because I only write in a publication where I work.
2. I still design/invent. To keep me sane, I turn my workstation and room, or any space that is “mine”, into something “breathable”.
3. I cure. Not people though. Machines, more like. Mechanic. I guess it’s an innate skill that I can easily understand what “pains” a facsimile machine or a printer. And I can cure them. A mechanic and a doctor, afterall, is quite similar. They only differ on the “patient” they handle.
4. Yes, there’s a no. 4. I realized that I’m still not sure of WHAT I really WANT. That’s silly. After almost 23 years of existence, I am still “floating”. It’s a pity. I remember my “guide” told me that “in order to pursue your dreams, in order to achieve your goals, you must first know what it is. What is your goal? What do you dream of achieving? What do you WANT?”
5. WANT vs. NEED. To live practically is to have only what you need. But want is something that would keep you walk in a straight path. To walk on a path at least. Want gives direction, motivation to pursue something, to achieve something; to stay human and not evolve into a machine/robot.
6. I must find out WHAT I WANT ASAP.

Rumblings period Thank you

exposing her bosom as she lay

still, slumped on her bed.

She blinked

the retina adjusting to the harsh ray of light

she mustered to sit

a sweet floral scent engaged with her nostril

she scanned the room

     a garden of tulips, roses and lotus

and she, sitting almost sensuously,

spinal column arching gracefully – giving her

an almost goddess look.

She blinked

then lay gently on her flowerbed

a generous intake of euphoria

and again the muse have slept

a dream of tulips, roses and lotus playing

unceremoniously before her eyes.

                                                    – rhanriey

after months of procrastination with no real reason…

will read from me soon. promise.